My Immortal
by Aiko-Chan SoT
Summary: Ever wonder what went through Bluestar's head when she exiled Tigerclaw? This is a songfic to Evanescence My Immortal. Full summary inside. R&R!


_**And here's yet another oneshot by meh! Hope you enjoy it!**_

**_Summary:_** **Ever wonder what went through Bluestar's head when she exiled Tigerclaw? This is what I think was going through her head. This is a songfic to Evanescence "My Immortal". **

**My Immortal**

I am speechless. Completely speechless. I trusted this cat with everything. I let him lead my clan during battles. I grew up with him, told him everything. And yet, he tries to kill me.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Supressed by all my childish fears_

Once he swung that paw at my head, everything inside me shattered. _Tigerclaw_! My _deputy_! He had tried to murder me! I don't know what would have happened if Fireheart hadn't saw the rouges and Tigerclaw enter camp. I...I would be dead. Worthless to my clan. They would have been ruled by a bloodthirsty murderer.

Everything during the attempted murder was a blur. Flying claws coming from Tigerclaw. I couldn't feel anything. I was numb. As Tigerclaw bit into my throat, I closed my eyes, welcoming StarClan. Then, a cry, and Tigerclaw was gone. Fireheart had saved me. What would I have done if he hadn't been there...

I don't know how Fireheart managed to win over such a massive tom. It was like he had the power of StarClan. I watched the battle, unmoving. After all, what could I do? Finally, it was over, and Fireheart had won. His friend Graystripe entered. Fireheart said something. I can't remember what. But it was to me and I got up to move. I felt like an elder. A weak, old, dying elder. I had failed my clan.

I exited the den, followed by Graystripe, then Tigerclaw and Fireheart. How I managed the jump on the High Rock, I don't know. The clan stood before me, yet I felt like a kit.

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

(A/N: This isn't exact. I know.)

"You see before you a traitor!" I cried, voice hoarse as I pointed to Tigerclaw with my tail. There were yowls of protest and anger, but I was too upset to care. "He tried to kill me with his own claws! Fireheart had tried to warn me before of this tom's trechorey, but I...wouldn't listen." I then allowed Fireheart to speak, and he told the clan everything he had told me, but yet I felt like I was just hearing it for the first time.

Once Fireheart had finished, I turned to Tigerclaw. How could he have done this to me? I could see in his eyes that he didn't care. He would kill me then if he wasn't so weak. The sadness was overpowered by anger, but I calmed myself. I glared at him, all my hurt and betrayal in that one fierce gaze.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_Theres just too much that time cannot erase_

"Do you have anything to say in your defense, Tigerclaw?" I meowed raspily. My voice was hoarse from shock, hurt, and sadness. He stared at me, those amber eyes frightening. And then, he insulted me. Well, it was expected. But it still hurt all the same. I raised my tail in defience and spat back.

_When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hands through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"Then, I...I exile you Tigerclaw," I meowed, the words sticking to my tongue, yet seemed to echoe through the forest forever. And to me, they would. Again, he spat. "As of now, if any ThunderClan cats see in you in our territory, they have my permission to kill."

"No one will kill me," he spat back, glaring at Fireheart. "I'll get you kittypet. You're too weak to survive me."

Fireheart raised his tail. I was proud of him, showing courage like that. Yet, it was foolish. But I'm being hypocritical.

"I already have, Tigerclaw," he hissed back. Tigerclaw growled and turned to the clan.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

"I will rule the forest one day. Anyone who wishes to join me, must join now." No movement. All cats glared at Tigerclaw. He set his gaze on Longtail. "Longtail?" he rasped. The tabby tom looked surprised, but glared back at the tom.

"Never. My loyalties belong with ThunderClan." Tigerclaw glared a moment at him, then turned to Darkstripe, who refused, then to Dustpelt, who said the same. My patience was running out. No longer did I feel sadness. I felt anger. I marked those four cats as dangerous, Tigerclaw's loyals.

"Enough!" I yowled, lashing my tail. "You will leave, Tigerclaw."

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice chased away _

_All the sanity in me_

Tigerclaw lashed his tail. "Fine. But you kittypets will fall..." One last glare at the clan, lingering longer on Fireheart, and he disappeared. I wonder again how this tom turned to be the way he was. I looked back toward the nursery. Goldenflower. How sorry I feel for her. She must have been shocked of her mates betrayal. I shook my head.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_Theres just too much that time cannot erase_

How did the once carefree, fun-loving Tigerpaw become the murderious, ambitious Tigerclaw? Sure, we were all ambitious. But for different reasons. I feel my heart beat quicken as my anger flares again, but melts into sorrow and depression.

Without another word, I jumped from the High Rock and retreated into my den. I didn't want to face the clan. I had failed them all. If it weren't for Fireheart...I closed my eyes. Deep in my mind, I knew I needed to choose the next deputy, but I didn't want to do it just yet.

Finally, I rise the new morning at sunhigh, my sorrow for failing my clan ebed into coldness toward them. I've convinced myself that they are only a bunch of traitors. All of them...except Fireheart. He is the only one I can trust. I am convinced StarClan have abandoned me, and so, I have turned my back on them.

_When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of you fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

I leaped onto the High Rock, calling my clan with a determined yowl. I see Fireheart look at me with hope. The clan stares at me waiting with anxiety. Sighing, I stare down at my clan.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

"Fireheart will be the new deputy of ThunderClan." With that, I jump from the High Rock and into my den.

After all, they are all a bunch of traitors.

_When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these_

_But you still have _

_All of me_

_-----_

_Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage - William Ellery Channing_

**---End of Story---**

_**Ya! Sorrow and pain! lol. Hope you enjoyed this oneshot. Not as good as my other one though. R&R!**_

_**SoL**_


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